The Person Who Will Never Read My Blog Again.

Someone has pledged to never read my blog again. Well, not exactly 'pledged' because I am the one who told them not to, in a fit of annoyance, and - as they often do - they took my words at face value. I should not have been annoyed, perhaps, because they did have a valid complaint against something I accidentally wrote, but it's easy to get annoyed with that person. In fact, they are the only person I ever lose my temper with. I don't know why that is, but I do know that friction and argument are the central characteristics of our friendship, a fact that I have come to accept after much difficulty.

This brings me to the question: do we only get truly angry at people we are really close to and consider our own? Do we go mad and say mean things to them in the spur of the moment because inside, we know that they will understand us and not judge us by whatever horrible things we tell them which we don't mean at all? Or is it the opposite, do we never lose our temper with those we love no matter what they do? Do we only say mean things to people we don't care about and wouldn't mind losing?

Well, for me it's definitely the former scenario: I only ever vent out or lash out at people whom I believe know me so well that they understand I don't mean to hurt them by my words; that when I get angry it's just the child inside of me seeking their attention and demanding their care. Other people who annoy me, I just give the silent treatment, because they are not worth my anger, not worth making myself upset over.

When I try explaining this particular trait of mine to The Person Who Will Never Read My Blog Again, they refuse to accept it and instead start telling me off for my childishness and immaturity and lack of control over my emotions and 'weird', fluctuating, contradictory behavior. And then, we end up fighting all over again. So, I've just given up trying to explain, because despite being a writer, I can't quite express myself to them.

On an aside, The Person Who Will Never Read My Blog Again is a pretty awesome friend: caring and mature and always ready to listen and talk about anything at all. They also give some pretty damn good advice and I'm glad to have to them around, even if we do spend most of the time bickering, usually over issues long resolved or issues that don't matter.

In this vein, I came up with an analogy to describe us, an analogy that The Person will not like even though it's quite beautifully written, if I may say so myself. But since they are anyways never going to venture here again, no harm in posting it:

"We are like the sea and shore, you and I: You may relentlessly crash against me in waves that vary, from being angry to disturbing to plain mocking; and you may recede from me completely at times; you may lash against me tirelessly, molding me into something new, and sometimes you may simply be still and silent, but always, we remain connected. For that is just the way we're meant to be."

p.s. I was told not to write about them and yet I've done it once again. When have I ever been one to listen, right?