1. A loved one gives up all hope in life just because of a minor illness and no matter what you say, they continue to brood and anticipate death before their time?
2. The same person tries to emotionally blackmail you to do things you hate, just to please them, irrationally predicting that they'll soon be no more?
3. You're stuck between either picking the road to your dreams and your happiness or pleasing your parents through embracing the life they see fit for you?
4. You have trouble falling asleep at night because you're too restless with worry and anxiety about the person mentioned in point 1 and 2 above and too confused over the dilemma in point 3? And you have trouble rising in the morning because you dread another day of dealing with life's complicated predicaments?
5. Despite having many wonderful. caring friends, you can never quite find the words to discuss your problems with them? And you feel lonely and low because you're the only one who seems stuck in a rut while everyone else advances fast towards their ambitions, their 'futures', their destinies?
What would you do? This is not a scribble; it is a questionnaire. There are just 5 questions. I never said they would be simple.
Please tell me.
What would you do?
Posts
13 scribbles scribbled back to me:
1. Thats a very complicated thing.. If someone believes that he/she is going to die soon, it becomes unbearable for that person too.. I got the same phase for a day 2 weeks back.. it does seem so baseless but all that person needs, is 'care' and assurance that everything would always be fine. I needed to console myself for some hours to get over with this stupid state..
2. if the same person blackmails then surely he/she is not understanding the meaning of end of life.. when i was in the state, i was continuously thinking of what would happen after me to my loved ones.. i was much more caring, restless, and uneasy to just to think about my loved ones..
3. I guess its the process that happens for all.. and everyone does the same for their kids/younger bros and sis. Though coming out of shadow and expectations of your elders is very very tough, the road has an end if you prove something someday about your real potential. The time-factor of it might be very long and the parents might need reassurance every now and then, but surely they are the ones whom you donot want to hurt anyday the most. So, its all worth living and doing conviction exercise.
4. There is a famous line which can act very positive and very negative depending upon your state of mind.. 'This too shall pass'. remind yourself of the same everyday, even if you are happy or even if you are sad. You would realise that its important and pertinent to live in the present rather than thinking about the present coming right away. the butterflies would continue in your stomach of inaction and inability to decide but you would love to have butterflies rather than waiting for the state to come where you would be in the decision making state of affairs.
5. You and only You are the master of life and the sole companion of yourself. its great that we meet people but its even wonderful that we cherish everything that happens. I really find the last question to be very tough to be implemented. I try daily to not to think the same as you have written and someday i do expect from myself to reach at a stage where i would have enough self energy and self confidence to give people at every occasion possible regardless of mood or condition. I guess that day i would be perfectly happy in being myself. Till then its a journey everyday..
i know that the answers written here are very simply put, i would love to have further discussion on every point in detail..
~lovely writings! :-)
Just one answer to all the questions:
I live every moment of my life till the moment I die. I live in the moment, I'll aspire of a wonderful future and I'll smile at the face of death.
People say that it is easier said than done.. but I don't believe in them.
I simply dont know. I think I would try to keep them happy. And if their fears of ends are baseless then maybe I would stop appeasing them if the situation gets too uncomfortable to me. I will sit in counsel with the night sky and I am bound to get answers.
@ ashkd, thanks for takin the time to write such a detailed response... its much appreciated! thanks a lot, really..:) u gave me a lot to think about..
@ Rajat, yeah, tht is quite wise..
@ anonymous someone, yup, same with me.. i simply don't know! :S
@mehak.. life is complicated.. and very very bithchy.. believe me.. i am going through (or have went through) all of these things.. sleepless nights??.. i still cant sleep properly and have received a lot of talking to from my friends for it.. you actually cant help it.. its a part of you fighting against you.. so whoever wins.. you loose for sure.. that's the story!
can u tell me the time frame by which you have to decide??
These are pretty difficult and soul searching questions..
wud have to think a lot before answering..:)
@ Suvi, yeah life sure is bitchy..
@ mangomanbunty, well, i guess there is no timeframe as such.. it is a continuous situation so the sooner decisions are reached, the better!
@ Sushobhan, yeah they are difficult and complex to answer..that's why i put them here!
i would go pick up a copy of Star Signs by Linda Goodman and hit it on the person's (in qs 1 n 2) head. for the rest, i wud still do the same but to the person who is asking. a little more gently of course, but i still wud :) just fyi. it has hardly anything to do with zodiacs.
Hi,
I have been following your posts from past week or so.My answers would be:-
1) As you said minor illness, All I would do is try delicately at first to get him moving. But in case does not work use voice power. Surprisingly voice power does help. Just yell that nothing is gonna happen to you and stop behaving like a moron.
2) Some minor illnesses can be problematic and the patient might not feel like getting into routine.But that is no excuse right.Same as in 1).
3)I can understand what you are going through with this respect and I empathize you. Nothing worked for me so in case yo come up with something that actually works do let me know.
4) I wouldn't suggest what I did. but this is what I did. The 1st time anyone drinks liquor is with friends and he enjoys it. I drank liquor to sleep better and stop worrying. What I would suggest though i didnot do is to do "shavasa". It is a yoga asan whcih relaxes your mind and also brings sleep.
5) be happy for your friends. Stay in touch with them. My friends have always supported me through thick or thin. Everyone will be successful one day or the other.
yazdegrid welcome to my blog. thanks for your answers. :)
its nice of you to take the time and write such a detailed comment..
keep reading!
1. If nothing I say seems to comfort or cheer up someone I love and they continue to anticipate death, I would first of all, be very worked up myself. I'd try my best to cheer them up, do little somethings for them, share interesting, inspiring, comforting ideas, stories, etc with them. I'm hoping that would help them a little.
In the end, I would consult my dad about this and probably ensure that this person meets my dad. I'm sure, they'll be alright then :)
2. Mehak, I need to think about this one.
3. I have two best friends, who incidentally happen to my parents. :) They know me so very well, have seen the world and more. They have faith in me and allow me to carve out my own life. Of course, they have their notions of what's best for me, but they do eventually let me decide that. So I guess, if what I want is slightly at odds with what my parents think is 'right', I would strive at it. And this would result in one of two things : I would work hard at what I want and hopefully excel at it, and as a consequence my parents' apprehensions/inhibitions/doubts would be quietened and there would be no problem. OR, my parents would continue to disapprove of what I'm doing. In that case, I wouldn't be truly happy since my parents aren't, and I would leave it. No problem again :)
4. Anxiety and worry have that effect on you. I wouldn't be able to endure anxiety for a long time. I would try to approach the people who are the reason of my worry, or someone else who will help me. I believe that when you truly need an answer, a sort of direction in your life, you always get it. It may not be the same person always, but you do get the help that you need, the help that allows you to learn and grow.
5. I'm not too sure about this question either. I have mixed emotions/responses when it comes to questions of friendship.
Mehak, my answers are not entirely coherent, but that's how our thought process sometimes is, right? Please do tell me what you think.
P.S - Thanks so much for your blog posts! :)
Post a Comment