Campus Lights

Campus lights are bright, but few. At certain points, they glare blindingly into my eyes, while at others, I am left struggling in the dark, treading carefully to avoid stepping in a puddle or stumbling on a rough patch on the road.

Often, the campus lights, or at least the hostel lights, are out. There are frequent power cuts, "load shedding" they call it. And the mosquitoes are notorious, especially during these 'dark' hours. I sometimes feel like I'm living in a forest; the campus is so akin to one. No external noise of traffic, vendors, anything, just a silence that gets heavier at night, punctuated only by the sounds of dogs and insects and people living their lives: strands of music here and there, often in some Southern language that means nothing to me; the sound of clothes being washed, or someone chattering on the phone at the top of their voice, again in some unfamiliar language.

Throughout the day, there is no need for lights. There is the sun, which gets almost as hot as it did in Ahmedabad. Whoever told me Hyderabad is not hot at this time of the year was lying or delusional. :P

But at night, it's lovely and cool. And light is needed. More so to lift my spirits which seem to sink as the day comes to an end. As darkness takes over the world, there is an internal darkness that takes over me. Sad thoughts, negative feelings, homesickness, nostalgia, regrets, desperate prayers, they all come together to make me feel like a lone warrior fighting against insurmountable enemies. I long for old friends and open conversations, for television and oft read books, for home-cooked food and familiar voices.

I try to read class notes or do something constructive but don't get very far before Facebook draws me in. And slowly, the hours slip by before I eventually fall asleep.

When I wake up the next morning, spirits are revived once again, because the sun is out and I have interesting classes to attend and people to talk to. Yet it's just a matter of time before the campus lights come on once again, lighting up the external world but extinguishing my internal joy.

Campus lights are bright. But few.

Aye kaash, kaash yun hota....har shaam, saath tu hota....

Chup chaap, dil na yun rota...har shaam, saath tu hota....