It's raining.
And I hate it.
I hate how everything is cold and wet and smelly.
I hate how my washed clothes refuse to dry.
I do not want to write poetry about the rain. Or stories. Or anything.
Something has changed within me. I was scrolling through my blog and I noticed how I haven't written proper stories in ages. I used to write nice ones, I think. Now, I am just uninspired.
But at the same time, I am thrilled to have more followers. That means what I've written is not completely trashy. 111 seems like an auspicious number. So thank you all, dear readers, for appreciating me so much, sometimes, even when I don't deserve it.
These days, I feel like I'm living a dream. Because I'm where I've wanted to be for a long time, yet something is amiss. I am not as enthusiastic as would be expected. I procrastinate. A lot.
I watch movies on YouTube. I watch random videos. I download songs. I lie in bed and listen to the songs over and over again with my mind going blank. I look at random people's Facebook profiles and photos. I explore Google +, the latest social network which I had planned to never join but then had to for academic reasons. I read the newspaper online. I update my Facebook status a bit too often. I even open the Chats folder on Gmail and read old conversations which make me feel nostalgic and teary. I do everything but write, even though all I want to do is write. Does that make any sense?
Perhaps.
At the moment, my mind is clouded with one major problem. If only that gets resolved, I will be more relaxed. Or perhaps I won't. I will find something else to worry about, like my mother's health. I have a knack for worrying about things I have no control over. Perhaps that's why I don't like the rain anymore. It just makes me worry about walking on wet roads, catching a cold, clothes not drying, etc, etc. Stupid, pointless worries.
I worry I am turning into a worrywart. Or perhaps I always have been one. I need to calm down, to stop fretting over niggling little things. I need to watch a nice movie and spend time with a good friend. I need to live a bit.
And in time, I am sure I will grow to love the rain once more.
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8 scribbles scribbled back to me:
Good read!! I've got a reason which connects me more to this post of your's...Thanks for you....!
u've used the subject of rain which is irritating u..even though u like it(rain)...in the same way..I've 1 reason/1 thought off course..a nice thought, I like it...but it turned to an irritating one..I know i can't run away from my own thoughts but still..being more precise..the rain is not irritating to u..the so called consequences are what u don't like...once again..nice post and Thank you...:)
Awesome post. It's probably just a phase, you will indeed grow to love the rain again I'm sure ;)
I dont know about the rest but what I can relate to is the 5th line.
And I swear that it is pretty irritating experience.
till the time u realize that all you ever worried about were minuscule issues, worry a little and then the world will turn around in such a way that nothing which bothered you once bothers you anymore.. then you evolve.
Not loving the rain is not a good thing =/
I just hope Tay Tay is right. =p
Well, I stopped thinking that way. Take life one by one, as it comes. I am often called careless by parents, but I do get a sound sleep.
Rains? Dig out a rain coat, and bathroom slippers (others will be spoiled), and get out for once. Grab a friend. Head for a chai stall, and have a cup of tea.
But when you return, do make it a point to dry yourself well, you don't want to fall sick, do you?
Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete
well... i didnt know and i followed you making the number 112 :(
i think humans need problems for their existence... one cannot live without worrying about problems... one problems solved and you get another one and the chase continues... :)
@ Nikhy, thanks for reading and commenting... yeah it is just the consequences which irritate me.
@ Tay Tay, hope so :)
@ lumuhuku, :)
@ Beyond, well said
@ Hamza Bin laden, i know, i hope so too :)
@ Blasphemous, i like the suggestion, finding the friend is the problem though. :( And yes, of course I don't want to fall sick!
@ Muhammad Israr, thanks for the follow! No need for the :( really. I'm :) about it :)
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