How do material objects come to hold emotional value?
I have never really contemplated this much, until today, when I lost a very prized possession.
My one and only 'daily-wear' watch which I'd had for so long that I don't remember exactly when I bought it.
It was either in the year 2000 or 2003, when I had come to India on a holiday and my grandma came along with my mother and I when we went shopping.
It was one of the first ones I tried and I loved it instantly. It had roman numerals on an oval face lined in silver and a dainty black strap that looked nice on my slender, snow-white wrist. In the years of owning it, not a single scratch had appeared on the watch face, and I'd only had to get the strap replaced recently because the original one wore out.
It was not a very expensive watch, but then, it wasn't exactly cheap either. Moreover, I'd worn it almost every day for so many years, so some kind of strange intimate relationship seems to have formed between us without me even realizing. I never felt particularly attached to it, or took any extra care of it, but now that it's gone, I just wish I'd been more careful and not lost it. I remember taking it off to fiddle with it like I often do, but today, I guess I was just somewhat absent minded and dropped it somewhere. Worse, I didn't even realize it was gone until perhaps an hour later.
I don't have another watch with me at hostel - somehow, I'd never anticipated needing an extra one - I'd come to rely so much on that single piece of jewellery, thinking it would be always be the only thing I would wear on my left hand. And I'm the kind of person who feels insecure when I can't check the time at periodic intervals. Of course, there's always my cell phone but I'm much too used to checking my wrist. And it's sad to know that now, for days, perhaps weeks to come, I'm going to unconsciously check for the time and not find it.
I could of course just get another watch, but I don't want one. I just want my old one back, though of course I'm never going to find it. I hate to think of it lying somewhere, abandoned, unnoticed, lost. Sigh.
A few months ago, I'd lost another piece of special jewellery - a bracelet of purple stones which my dad had brought from Cyprus. It was the most beautiful bracelet I owned and I only wore it on special occasions until one day, when I was packing to move to Hyderabad, I just couldn't find it anywhere. Losing that was not as painful, perhaps because I have a slight bit of hope that I'll find it somewhere in the house. But losing my watch is like losing a teeny bit of myself. I know it's not that big a deal - it's just a simple accessory that can be replaced easily - but like I already said, some kind of emotional bond seems to have formed between us which I just can't fathom.
It makes me think of how this is perhaps true of our relationships with people too. Sometimes, bonds form which we have no idea about until they are broken or lost and can never be regained. And although it is hard at first, we eventually learn to accept and live with it. It's as if a small phase of life or a chapter in our story comes to an end and we simply have to move ahead for there is no other option. Perhaps we lose people and things because we are simply meant to, for reasons unknown. Each one of them are eventually replaced by others and all that remains of them is a memory, sometimes bitter, sometimes sweet.
I have never really contemplated this much, until today, when I lost a very prized possession.
My one and only 'daily-wear' watch which I'd had for so long that I don't remember exactly when I bought it.
It was either in the year 2000 or 2003, when I had come to India on a holiday and my grandma came along with my mother and I when we went shopping.
It was one of the first ones I tried and I loved it instantly. It had roman numerals on an oval face lined in silver and a dainty black strap that looked nice on my slender, snow-white wrist. In the years of owning it, not a single scratch had appeared on the watch face, and I'd only had to get the strap replaced recently because the original one wore out.
It was not a very expensive watch, but then, it wasn't exactly cheap either. Moreover, I'd worn it almost every day for so many years, so some kind of strange intimate relationship seems to have formed between us without me even realizing. I never felt particularly attached to it, or took any extra care of it, but now that it's gone, I just wish I'd been more careful and not lost it. I remember taking it off to fiddle with it like I often do, but today, I guess I was just somewhat absent minded and dropped it somewhere. Worse, I didn't even realize it was gone until perhaps an hour later.
I don't have another watch with me at hostel - somehow, I'd never anticipated needing an extra one - I'd come to rely so much on that single piece of jewellery, thinking it would be always be the only thing I would wear on my left hand. And I'm the kind of person who feels insecure when I can't check the time at periodic intervals. Of course, there's always my cell phone but I'm much too used to checking my wrist. And it's sad to know that now, for days, perhaps weeks to come, I'm going to unconsciously check for the time and not find it.
I could of course just get another watch, but I don't want one. I just want my old one back, though of course I'm never going to find it. I hate to think of it lying somewhere, abandoned, unnoticed, lost. Sigh.
A few months ago, I'd lost another piece of special jewellery - a bracelet of purple stones which my dad had brought from Cyprus. It was the most beautiful bracelet I owned and I only wore it on special occasions until one day, when I was packing to move to Hyderabad, I just couldn't find it anywhere. Losing that was not as painful, perhaps because I have a slight bit of hope that I'll find it somewhere in the house. But losing my watch is like losing a teeny bit of myself. I know it's not that big a deal - it's just a simple accessory that can be replaced easily - but like I already said, some kind of emotional bond seems to have formed between us which I just can't fathom.
It makes me think of how this is perhaps true of our relationships with people too. Sometimes, bonds form which we have no idea about until they are broken or lost and can never be regained. And although it is hard at first, we eventually learn to accept and live with it. It's as if a small phase of life or a chapter in our story comes to an end and we simply have to move ahead for there is no other option. Perhaps we lose people and things because we are simply meant to, for reasons unknown. Each one of them are eventually replaced by others and all that remains of them is a memory, sometimes bitter, sometimes sweet.
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2 scribbles scribbled back to me:
Well written. Many times we know of the value of things only after losing them
Interesting. Sometimes I tend not to discard an object into the trash can coz I feel bad about doing so. This wasn't the case with me a few years ago, but now I tend to store even the most useless things. Like, for example: A few months ago my dad had given me a pen. I lost the pen but when the time came to get rid of the trash in my room, I kept the box in which that pen had come. The box serves me no purpose, but I consider it an important possession.
"It makes me think of how this is perhaps true of our relationships with people too."
I agree. Now that the college is over, almost most of my friends packed their bags and returned home. I live in a city of millions but sometimes, I feel like I'm the loneliest person in the city.
Bonds. A simple, short word with a very profound meaning.
Nice post, BTW ;)
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