Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Of 'bhav' and 'light tisko'

Bhav is a Hindi word that has no English equivalent, except perhaps 'importance given to a person'. And 'light tisko' which I have always seen spelled as 'lite tisko' in text messages is a Telugu/Hyderabadi expression which has no Hindi or other equivalent. Literally translated it means 'to take light', which for the colloquially challenged means to not fret over something, to be cool with stuff even if it somehow bothers you.
Together, the concepts of  'bhav' and 'light tisko' fascinate me.
We all know certain people who want a lot of bhav. They thrive on their sense of self importance and love to have their egos pampered all the time. They need a lot of cajoling to do almost anything and somehow get away with this annoying behaviour because everyone around them gets so used to giving them 'bhav'. These people are usually either good looking or in a position of power or - god forbid - both!
Then there are people like me who never want any bhav. Who go out of their way to do nice things for others because that's just the way we're wired. People like me sometimes appear like pushovers but we can't help being kind and considerate. It just comes naturally. And what happens when we encounter the inevitable 'bhav' eaters? Well, I for one, am terrible at both taking bhav and giving it. I will not pamper your ego in order to get you to do something for me. I will not make you feel more important than you are. I just don't know how to do such things. Which means that if for instance, you are a newly acquired friend, I will make the effort to text message you, call you, and meet you, but only to a certain extent. The maximum number of times I will take the initiative is about three. After that, if you don't reciprocate, I will 'take light' and assume that you don't want to be my friend after all. And trust me, it's no problem at all. I don't understand why I should always be the one making the effort, treating you like you've dropped onto earth from heaven itself when clearly, you haven't. I don't understand why I should give you any bhav at all when you are so clearly not giving me the most basic of reciprocation that a new friendship entails.
The same is true with established friendships. If bhav equations change for whatever reason, I simply 'take light'. If you are ignoring me for reasons that I cannot comprehend, it will hurt me, sure, but I will not tell you and I will not make a fuss. I will simply accept it as just the way you are and devote myself to other activities and other people who are better worth my time and concern.
Of course, to 'take light' is easier said than done in most cases, especially when you are attached to people in inexplicable ways, but I think it is the only way forward. Life is too complicated and busy as it is without the added burden of playing bhav games and entertaining nonsense.
So if someone you care for is not giving you bhav or demanding too much bhav, 'light tisko' and move on. It's not the freaking end of the world.
Not yet at least!

2 scribbles scribbled back to me:

Mahesh Kalaal said...

lite ra bhai...

NINAD said...

M too 'light tisko' types. 'bhav khaana' is more used here in mumbai hindi...
bhaav khaanewale rukenge nahi so light tisko is best option...
simple writing and you describe very well Mehak...I simply hope one day I might be able to write my thoughts like you do...nice post, keep writing :)