Sunday, February 17, 2013

Busy-ness, happyness, peace.

The past two days have been super busy. Actually, the past two MONTHS have been super busy. Or maybe I can round it up and say the past two YEARS have been super busy. And although it is kind of crazy, busy-ness is my most favorite state of being. It makes me feel alive. So even though I have a lot of things to do, I couldn't resist taking a few minutes to write about the past two days:

There were 2 public screenings of a short film I helped make on the theme of 'Walkable Cities'. It was one of three films, and was received reasonably well, which made me happy. To be honest, I'm not very good at making films,; I would much rather be in front of the camera than behind it, (which is surprising because I thought I was a very self-conscious, shy person but I guess  I'm not really). But nonetheless, making the film was rewarding and I guess it's something I want to get better at if I have the chance.

After the screening yesterday, one of my favorite professors who came to the event took us out for ice-cream, and I had a really nice time.The cab ride back to campus was enjoyable, with the cool breeze blowing in through the windows and loud music playing on the stereo and all of us chatting amicably about movies, life, and love.

In the evening, it rained. I went for pizza with two friends, and we sat outdoors stuffing ourselves with delicious food and watching it drizzle. Later, we watched a Hindi rom-com and drank Red Bull. And today morning, we went for brunch at a famous restaurant called Chutneys. As we waited for the place to actually open for the day, we whiled away an hour at a book store, reading astrology predictions for the year ahead. And although a lot of time was spent in doing all these things, I think I deserve it because I've been working so hard and moreover, these are my last few months in Hyderabad and I want to make the most of them.

I have realized (too late, perhaps) that I have far too many blessings in life to have the slightest right to complain. So I'm going to try and live life in the only way that makes sense but is also the hardest- one day at a time - and see where destiny takes me. And no matter where that is, one thing I know for sure is that it will be exactly where I need to be. :)

P.S. There's a reason why I've misspelled the word 'happiness' in the title. Remember, 'The Pursuit of Happyness'?

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Random facts about my life which you don't need to read

Today is World Radio Day.
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day.
I have a ton of work to do.
I should not be blogging. I have not been blogging much at all recently. I miss it.
I did a radio show today morning and it made me happy.
I need to record several episodes of a show about books but I can't find the time. I feel bad about that.
I bunked a class today because I simply couldn't trust myself to stay awake.
I went to hostel to sleep but I was too exhausted to even doze off.
The fourth and final semester of my master's course is draining every drop of energy I have and making me go crazy. But I am loving it, in some strange way. In fact, I wish it wouldn't ever end. Because I don't know what lies beyond it. And the possibilities both excite and scare me.
I am busier than I have ever been before. I am still single on yet another stupid Valentine's day. But I am high on a new love song I can't stop singing:

Beimaan. Dil bada beimaan. 
Hota nahi aasaan isey hai samjhana 
Beimaan, Dil bada be-imaan 
Tere liye shaitan 
Meri naa ek maana 

Dil jeete yaa main jeetu 
Dekhungi dekhega tu 
Lo dil se sharat lag gaye 
Mujhe tto teri lat lag gayi, lag gayi 
Zamaana kahe lat yeh ghalat lag gayi 
Mujhe tto teri lat lag gayi, lag gayi
Zamaana kahe lat yeh galat lag gayi

And now, I should return to work.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Dancing words

The music lures me no more,
the dance floor's lost its charm.
The jumping, jostling mass
I was once a part of,
seems alien. Strangely amusing.
Amusingly strange.

Why do people dance in big crowded gatherings
with loud, deafening music?
Why not just in the solitary confines of a closed room?
What is it about bodies
that they need to be shaken and spun
and twirled and whirled in the company of other bodies?
What is it about noise and sweat
that convinces one of having a "good time"?
Why does it suddenly seem like my idea of a very "bad time"?

Always a recluse, I am just getting worse by the day.
And they say I should get married.
How can I, when I seem to hate people?
And every single one of their social eccentricities?
It seems fake. Meaningless. Comical.
There is so much more, I want to do.
If only I knew, what exactly it is.